The tip of the Paper Mate medium rolls across the paper with all the poise of an octopus attempting to free itself from quicksand. (The Paper Mate medium… the people’s pen. The only one to use, as far as I’m concerned.) I force the pristinely engineered ball point into the notepad like a wagon wheel cutting through two feet of Missouri mud. My mind 4 words ahead of my hand as it labors to catch up so it won’t be left out on all the literary shenanigans. “I can’t write!”
In an attempt to write a note to myself, I’ve stumbled across an existential crisis the magnitude of which I have only experienced a few times and usually in an “altered” state. My ability to put pen to paper, literally, is at risk of extinction. My hand efforting to do what it has always done but is somehow now forgetting. It dancing across the page with steely resolve and uninterrupted fluidity of Baryshnikov in the flow state has now devolved to Elaine Benes drunk dancing at a wedding.
Being a card carrying member of Gen X, I think we may have been the last generation to use handwriting as our main form of non verbal communication. The old guard of a dying art form. And now it seems, threatened even in our hands. We just don’t write by hand anymore. Is typing “better” or faster? There’s a difference. Just because we can doesn’t mean we should all the time (don’t get me started on fucking Bird scooters). I believe there’s more intentionality in the written word. There’s more consequence of action, literally and figuratively. We type EVERYTHING now. We even write our signature with the tip of our finger now with all the grace of a 6 year old, mine at least. I can’t speak for you but I have a pretty good idea.
The computer has saved lives but it’s also killed earnestness. It’s made our language disposable much like the digital camera has made our humanity thinner. Countenance over content. Everything has it’s place and, at least in my world, I have placed handwriting waaaaaayyyyyy too far back behind all the other “cool” stuff. In an attempt to be more efficient, I’ve lost the ability to communicate in a tactile and, as far as I’m concerned, a more spiritually connected way. When we write by hand we’re not only expressing outwardly but we’re slowing down enough to communicate with ourselves as well, to reflect what’s inside… just like dance.
Maybe it’s time to write someone a hand written letter and see how it affects both of you. Just because it’s faster doesn’t mean it’s better. Pick up your Paper Mate and start dancing.
(No, it isn’t lost on me that I should have hand written this letter but I really wanted you to be able to read it at the same time. My handwriting used to look like a doctor’s after a 6 pack and now it’s Hemingway on a bender. I’ll work on it.)
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In a few words, describe the reason you’re calling. You could say things like, “Account activity”, “What’s my balance?” Or…
Representative!
To get you to the right person, I just need a little more Information…
Representative!
I can’t seem to hear you. Do you want to know how to open a checking account?
Representative!!!
Ok, I’ll transfer you to small business savings accounts now. Goodbye.
Representative!
This was a brief snapshot of my last phone call to my bank to deal with a pending payment. I was then transferred to, count them, 1, 2, 3, 4 different people to answer my question. Resulting in around 30 minutes of my life and, turns out, in the end I was told “You should be fine.” Awesome.
The next day I received an email from the bank asking me, “How would you rate your recent call experience?” with some boxes numbered from 1 to 10. I’m now expected to take some time to click one of the numbers which inevitably will take me to a longer survey in order to improve the bank’s customer service. I didn’t rate anything though on account of having way more important shit to do with my life but it got me thinking. I’m imagining a lot of people fill these surveys out and help the bank improve themselves. So I thought… why don’t I rate my experience with myself in my own life? How do I rate how I’ve treated myself over the last 24 hours? Never mind how Gustavo at Bank of America treated me but how did I treat me?! How much patience did I lend to myself? How much compassion did I give myself when I spilled the oily mussel sauce all over the kitchen? How many big deep breaths did I divvy out to myself when I was stressed about getting all my work done? How would I rate my service to… me?
We get caught up leaving reviews about products and filling out surveys about banking experiences and “liking” pictures of other peoples food and vacations and we look at ourselves last. We press the “like” button about ourselves after we’ve done it for everything else. We put ourselves at the bottom of the hospitality list and are then surprised when we’re bummed out and feel like ass. You gotta have it in order to give it out. At the end of this day when you’re all done with the work and calls and stuff, look back and rate your experience with yourself. You may find that you need to improve customer service. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a call to give yourself a little more compassion, a little more patience and a little less shit. Put the mask on yourself before helping other passengers. How would you rate your experience with you so far?
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